WOOH, I am in kind of a venting mood today. Like good/bad?
I think I'll.. Paraphrase and list.
1. I say things. I know I do. I don't mean things I sometimes say but it seems like I mean it but.. it's sometimes obvious by which things I mean and what I don't. And believe me when I say that. I know what I say. I know what it means, you don't. See it in my shoes sometimes, that's all I can ask for.
2. I know I miss you. I sometimes don't do anything about it. And like.. I know we weren't like fun buddies in middle school and we were just those people who talk about everything with each other but like although we weren't all fun and stuff, doesn't mean like.. I don't know how to explain it. But it doesn't seem like you care the way I do. And I need you more that it seems and I know you're here for me sometimes, but I want that like all the time. I just.. miss it ?
3. We're friends. I want you yo think of me as a friend and only as a friend. And I do not want BS in my life anymore and I swear if you do the same sh-- you have before ooooh, you just f*cked up my friend. But.. I gotta keep my distance.
4. You say you're the one who will sit and listen to me when I have a problem. You
say are but you don't show it. It really doesn't seem like you care. And then I try to learn more about your life but I get shut out. I can't really explain it.
5. I can't keep up.
Lately I have been
Drawing, writing notes, playing with my hair, wanting more, over thinking, second thinking, bi- polar, confused, not sure what I want, trying, bringing my grades up slowly, catching up with people, having some fun, letting go, venting, blogging, listening to music, in the car, hungry, moody, mean, annoyed, tired, argumentative, feeling different, trying to be a better person, using Dolce&Gabbana light blue, feeling the need to shopshopshop, relaxed, uneasy, alright.
I love
To draw, my friends, my boyfriend, choir, 8th period, music, receiving notes, Hana's room, collages, long hair.
I don't like
Being judged, seagulls at school, arguing, having short hair, jerks, litter bugs, fakes, annoying stuff.
LENT:
1. Cussing (I am so serious -__-)
2. Chocolate, 7th love of my life.
I need to add more. But I think t hat's it for now. It's common but those are the things that are like.. so bold in my life.
I hung out with bestie John Galang today. Pretty nice. I hope tomorrow is Mohammad day. I'm trying to.. catch up. Okay well I might update laters. Bye
SELFREALIZATIONwoahhitsmitch: its not ♥
woahhitsmitch: its you
woahhitsmitch: you dont trust yourself
woahhitsmitch: at all
woahhitsmitch: thats why you dont talk to ♥s
woahhitsmitch: and you use ♥ as an excuse
woahhitsmitch: so you can hide it
woahhitsmitch: have you ever noticed that ?
woahhitsmitch: you have no hope in yourself
I really think he knows me too well. And, harsh, but he's right.
He is THE psychologist of my life.