Oh

Blogger! I miss ya.

Oh gosh. I'm kinda.. not in the mood.
But yeah, maybe later.

Okay just kidding, maybe now.

SO
1. fighting, struggling, second thoughts, arguing, frustrating, annoying, unnecessary BS, unbelieving, hanging up, 'sleeping', walking away, ignoring, I.M.NOT.ALIVE., not hated but thinking be hated, thinking unwanted, balancing, self- isolation, you swear. i don't need this now. i don't want this now.
2. here and there, still not 'enough', trying, balancing.
3. insecure, confuseed, don't know what to want, can't think staright.. ever, unsure, need time, leave me be.

i want to fall again.
and stay fallen.

i want to be sure.
and stay sure.

i want to be free.
but not now.

i want to stop trying.
but still get through it.

i want more time.
but know how to use it.

i want to yell it all out.
but to someone who cares.