I've been needing to say

Lately, everything has been up and down.
Or bi polar, yeah that's the word.

Dear You,
1. Mm, you kinda got to step your game down a bit. I know it's none of my business but you know, I think it's better for everyone.
2. And you! Step your game up, mama (= I know ya got it in you, and I don't wanna push you anymore because I know I'd hate that too if I were pushed like that.
3. You can't really say something about or to someone if you really don't know the real story behind everything right? But you apparently do not go by this rule. I don't know if you don't see it or something but yeah, I'm trying, alright? You can't say I'm not, because YOU KNOW I AM. I honestly, now, do not know what you want. It's kinda confusing when I think I'm doing something right but it just does not go up to your.. expectations? You can't expect me to get everything straight in a snap. And I can't call you what you were to me anymore. Remember, step in to my shoes once in awhile.
4. OOOO man. I do not wanna fall in that deep, endless pit again. But yeah, I am sorry if I like totally frustrate or piss the shehflsdjh out of you. You've been patient, i think, hah and I'm sorry.
5. Hey dude, I still miss you, hah. And I know I'm gonna keep saying that if we start talking again like.. 8th. I don't know. It's real hard to keep up with you. I still consider you and my BFFBFFBFF for life, but honestly, we aren't really that anymore. And I know you will always be here for me, but it's not the same.
6. I'm sorry we;re not as close anymore, my fault. I think that's all I can say. And that I miss you and you're the only one who understood mostly everything. And this is my loss.

Yeah that's good.

AND, I just miss the feeling of not just that one thing but everything.
It's not that easy for me to go from one thing then back to the other. My comfort level has gone really low, with everyone. I've changed myself to be not as open as I was before because it's really hard for me now, and I really do not know why but that's me and I can't be forced to a certain level of comfort. I just need to think.

Ah damn.